kids in coffee shops

Andrew - Gusband and I saw the funniest comedian the other night and one of the things she was talking about was kids in cafes. Now before I go and open up the can of worms I did on Facebook when I mentioned kids on leashes….. let it be known that I love all my friends and families children. I mean seriously I get how populating the world works.

This female comedian was talking about mothers who take their children to cafes and how much those kids hate going to cafes. How does she know this she asked us? “FROM ALL THE FUCKING SCREAMING THEY DO WHILE THEY ARE THERE!” At that point she lost me, I was laughing and crying so hard I couldn’t see or hear and was doubled over.

Totally politically incorrect, totally hilarious.

I work across from a café and I know how it goes. I know all the reasons that people leave the house with children and we are very welcoming to kids of all ages at our store but the real question should be why the hell do they scream blue murder just as the food arrives? Apparently they are trying to torture you.

We’ve got friends who like to go out with their children and friends who like to go out without their children. Each to their own I think, we don’t mind and now that we are all getting on a bit we tend to do things that are more kid friendly. Oh how times have changed. Once upon a time a group of us would go out for lunch and roll home late at night. These days if we spent all day at the pub and had the kids with us someone would more than likely call Docs.

Us and the kids at a "kid friendly" event. Some having more fun than others.

So I wonder why human children are allowed in cafes and not my doggie children. And don’t say germs! People children can be pretty germ friendly, what with putting things in their mouths and putting them back on plates and lets not even talk about the rivers of snot that can be seen pouring from these little mites. I remember one friend at our house when Little F was giving Phoebe (doggie child) a kiss on the mouth and we tried to interfere we were met with, “It’s fine I’d be more worried about Phoebe, at least you remember to worm her.”

Oh how times have changed.

Don’t forget to worm your kids campers. xx

Lucy – I am with the comedian, I don’t think children like sitting still for any real lengths of time, so why the hell would they want to be made to sit at a coffee shop! If I was them I’m pretty sure I would rather be screaming blue murder & racing through a bookstore wiping my chocolate fingers all over the windows.

I however am lucky, my furkid is allowed at my regular haunt, the local coffee shop, he gets snausages every day & is pretty much a permanent fixture there in the morning.  All the dogs of the community frequent the coffee shops in my area because they are dog friendly. They do let children in as well, but I think there would be a law against denying children the right to have a babycino!

I feel there are enough germs to go round & we should all embrace them as Andrew has with his bout of the elusive man flu!

Happy  caffeine hit campers

Happy Fairytale Birthday Sawusband

Lucy – Once upon a time, 38 long years ago today a little baby boy was born.

He grew up happily playing sports and living near the beach.

Until one day he met a girl who believed in fairies.

They moved to the country & were married (in fairy wings).

But his wife kept harping on “where have all the fairies gone?”

In order to get some peace…. He decided it was time to unearth the fairies & started looking for them under the ground.

Some would call it mining but she knew he was trying to prove their existence.

Her husband the best miner in the land twisted & turned in the tunnels waiting to catch a glimpse of the elusive mining fairy, all the while digging for buried treasures (mining for Gold).

He could not find any in the country so they followed the rainbow north.

He could not find any there either.

So he has taken to the skies following the rainbows & has travelled many lands continuing his search underground for buried treasures & fairies.

When he gets tired from his exhausting travels he returns home to rest before his next adventure.

He dines on wine & bread, going to fancy restaurants enjoying a well-earned break.

It won't be long now until this chapter in your adventure ends & you'll be home soon.

I would like to wish Sawusband a very “Happy Birthday” from Henry, Ishka & Me.

You’ll catch that fairy some day!

How many fairies have you seen campers?

Andrew - You asked for fairies and were delivered Gusband and I, so I don't know what you ae talking about. Maybe you should tell Sawusband that they have been unearthed. Then again he might stop looking and then he would be home all the time wining and dining and spending money.

From Gusband and I a great big Happy Birthday to you Sawusband. We hope all is well with you across the sea.

Happy Sunday to you all too campers. xx

P.S - Did you notice I didn't even make any dirty jokes about fairies and holes.

Grammar & Punctuation are OVA

Andrew - I'm going to sound like a really old whinger today but seriously, when did we stop using real words? Is it the fault of the way we communicate these days? Now I'm a bit of a stickler for spelling and grammar at the best of times (you may disagree from reading what I write) and it may be the teacher coming out in me but something that really shits me is "lol". If someone writes something funny on Facebook or Twitter why can't we type, "That is so funny"? Are we so time poor that we must abbreviate everything?

Why are we communicating with each other like a pack of illiterate 11year olds? In this day and age with spell check and predictive text on phones its more difficult to type something incorrectly than correctly. So why then when I was doing a bit of Facestalking the other day did I stumble upon this on the wall of a friend of a friend of a friend.... (and I apologise if this is your post but honestly )"....phoned me this morning on her way to chch to go shopping for a dress for da wedding it is so fuckn bad the cathedral is half gone n there r deaths 200 people trapd n a building n 2 buses buried." Beyond ridiculous!

Apparently <3 is a sideways love heart. Personally I don't see how loved I would feel if someone sent me one of those and as for thx. WTF? Turns out you could write a novel using abbreviations and some people would understand it. They would probably be under the age of 18 but WE (whatever). There isn't even any punctuation!

So my rant is over for today. I've shown you all how old and grumpy I am and now you know if you "lol" me I have judged you just a little.

On a lighter note Gusband and I went and saw Kitty Flanagan last night and I laughed until I cried. There was a whole lot of ROTFL.

Use your words campers. xx

Lucy – Andrew for the record I only understood about half of what you just wrote.

I think we might be old… I remember a time when I thought that 25 was getting up there & any where over 30 was over the hill!!! Yes campers we are getting older, whinier & need to go to bed earlier, not to mention these bloody abbreviations.

For years I thought I was getting “lots of love” turns out everyone is just laughing at me!

It takes me ages now to work out what people are trying to tell me…. Just tell me in English already. 

Life keeps moving faster & I don’t have time to learn a new written language! I have enough trouble with this one.

So everyone I won’t judge you if you abbreviate, be just remember I probably don’t understand a word of what you sent me.

Have a happy day campers XXxx

Coffee Aint Coffee

Andrew - Why can’t coffee be simple? I have a love of coffee and since I’ve stopped smoking it’s the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning (apart from Gusband and the kids of course). As soon as I step out of the shower I can hear Gusband at the coffee machine making my long black.  It’s my lovely little kick-start, it’s like my habitual glass of wine at the end of the day.

Why then my wonderful campers am I sitting at home with a dirty old cup of instant coffee in front of me? How has it happened that we have no coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I’m working I’ll have my morning cup at home, then I’ll have another with the troops at work around 10.30 or 11am and then probably one around 3ish. If I’m not working I'll have my coffees from our coffee machine at home. Yes I’m a creature of habit. Not today I’m afraid, there is no coffee  in our house and I’m not working so I won't be buying one.

Sadly going unused today.

Sawusband would be horrified. I’ve seen him throw a coffee in the bin and walk into a coffee shop next door and try theirs. He even made a trip to Kuta from Seminyak just to get a coffee (and apparently it wasn’t that good.)

So although I don’t think of myself as a coffee snob, some people do make better coffee than others, some people even within the same coffee shop. And it turns out you can fuck up a long black.

Gusband still makes the best coffee, so one of my jobs today will be to go and get some more beans so he can fulfil his morning ritual of making us coffee (aren’t I thoughtful?)

So campers, anyone for a cup of tea? xx

 Lucy - It’s a great way to start the Daily Grind with the Daily Grind haha!

Sounds to me like some one has replaced one addiction with another….although I do recall Andrew always loving coffee but did not realize the extent of the addiction.

I start my day with coffee as well, but I could take it or leave it. What I really am doing is taking Henry out for a coffee. He gets lots of pats & attention as well as a snausage from our regular coffee spot…not to mention it the ulterior motive is he sleeps all day then and that's better than the alternative, which is looking for trouble!

We must go every day or the questions start….We thought something was wrong, what happened?

It is expected that we will be there and so we go religiously every morning.

making new friends

waiting for a snausage

Andrew I hope you manage to get your favourite grind and that Gusband is back making your long black tomorrow.

Happy caffeine hit campers.

Farmer Wants a Punch in the Face

Andrew - Gusband and I are being currently subjected to a reality television show about farmers trying to find love. There’s no need to go into why we have committed ourselves to this weekly torture but we have.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some fit looking men on this show which does help ease the pain but oh my god what the hell is wrong with people? Why have this group of people thought it would be a good idea to expose themselves on national television?

The show should be called “Farmer wants a root,” or “Slapper needs a headbutt.”

Why do these girls seem so grateful that some farmer who hasn’t had a shag since he was 16 has asked them back to his property to work as free labor. Where is your self-esteem ladies? Although perhaps my use of the word “ladies” is a bit of a stretch.

Gusband and I are really enjoying our weekly ritual of having dinner every Wednesday with our darling neighbours but the show can’t come to an end quick enough. At least we have permission to make fun of every contestant on the bloody show.

So farmer may very well want a wife, campers but Andrew wants a series finale.

P.S – Apologies for another reality television post so soon, I just really needed to get it off my chest.

Lucy – I cannot for the life of me understand why you would willingly subject yourself to “Farmer wants a Root”. Surely the Reality TV era has run its course, it’s like the fashion cycle (learning about this in my course at the moment).

You start with the Introduction to Reality TV, followed by the Rise, then of course the all important Peak which is closely followed by Decline & ultimately Obsolescence!

In fashion Obsolescence is the point where a trend has been made so cheaply & poorly it looks Vulgar. Surely we are at total saturation point & vulgarism with reality TV & yet it still continues to grace us with its presence.

Holy shit! I just Googled a list of reality TV shows in Australia. You don’t understand how many are out there!!!(The link if you dare)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Australian_reality_television_series

It is just plain scary….

Did this all start with Big Brother. Are they the culprit?

& Look where we are now the F**cking Kardashians!

I realize it is probably a cheap way to make television programs but for Christ’s sake, enough already!

Have you had enough campers?

Waiting, waiting, waiting..... still waiting

Lucy - Yesterday... I know we are living a very fast life & everything is in the now.

"I want it now!" Actually that is wrong, I mean, "I want it yesterday! "

You all know that waiting feeling....I have been waiting patiently all day &

I feel my patience has just about run out..... Firstly at the Chiropractor who was running late.... Next I was waiting at Harvey Norman for assistance (typical)..... Eventually I got a new Router for my computer. The Sales assistant assured me there would be no trouble with this brand as he has it at his homo  & has never had a problem (he obviously doesn't know my luck with these things)....Went home & low & behold, If I haven't said it before I am saying it now.

“Technology hates me!”

 Of course it does not work...... So now it is 5 hours later, countless calls to tech support & I am still no closer to a wireless connection.

I decide it’s time to call in the big guns!! That right campers its time to call Andrew, for advice & the all important whinge.....

It is agreed that I need assistance from the professionals......Guess what, waiting again.......It is now 4.30 pm & the call comes in We are unable to come today, is it ok if we rebook for first thing in the morning?

What the F**K do you think!

Of course I said, “ That's fine I'll see you then”.

So now I will have to wait all night to see if anything can be done to correct this problem.

As per I am not satisfied with leaving it alone. I decide it is in my best interest to call tech support one last time.... After resetting the entire Router I am now told it is not going to work on my computer & I should take it back for a refund.....So now I have two routers, two computers, have spent countless unproductive hours on the phone & am still no closer to fixing this problem.... I might just cry, but I'm sure that will not make me feel any better.

Back to the drawing board.... I'll let you know how it all pans out.

Today - Ok, it's a new day and I just saw the most amazing rainbow....Now i'm starting to think my luck has changed, I will have to wait & see....Please happy rainbow bring me some technology luck today!

Andrew - Oh thank God today brought a frigging rainbow! I don’t think I could cope with another one of those conversations today. Yes it was time to call in the big guns and in all seriousness I don’t know why we didn’t just start there. Or at least pay for a flight for me to come and do it for you. Why you thought you could set up a wireless network in your house is beyond me.

That’s why there are people who know these things, so we don’t have to know about them. We can’t know everything although God knows we pretend we do. An example would be the Divine Miss C. who thought she was a travel agent and booked her own flights and fucked them up, not once but twice. You don’t see Gusband taking scalpels to peoples feet now do you?

So campers if you could all say a quick prayer to Baby Cheeses that today brings a wireless setup to a very specific house in Queensland. I’ve got 2 days off coming up and we need to Skype!

Please let this be Lucy by this afternoon.

Pay the people to do their jobs campers. xx

My Kitchen Rules

Lucy - There was laughter to be heard throughout the land when my sister asked me if I would go on "My Kitchen Rules" with her.
My first thought was who would kill each other first!!!!
My next thought was imagine the close ups when I start pulling faces as things go horribly wrong whilst under the pressure....
I am sure they would pigeon hole me like the lady from Tasmania, who is currently receiving death threats because of her comments.
I can see it now “Bitchy face puller from QLD, strikes again” & the threats flow in. Maybe I’m being a little over dramatic...No never!
My other sister has also been known to say Sawusband & I should go on “My Kitchen Rules”. Same problem, I think I’d pull the same faces to a close up shot in the camera lens. It could be a recipe for not only disaster but also divorce.
I do like to be the armchair commentator though...
I am pretty sure we started my kitchen rules when living near Andrew & Gusband. We were always having 3 course dinners matched with wines. This may just sound like a dinner party, but I’m sure you would all agree, we definitely got the ball rolling.

Happy cooking campers...

Andrew – God I’m so pleased you can see the potential for disaster should you and sister go on a reality t.v show.  In answer to your question, I think you would kill her first – and that’s only because you are younger and could duck quicker.

I reckon you and Gusband would be good on a cooking show. I’ve watched you in the kitchen together and you work so well together. Except if a dish wasn’t perfect, then you both would decide to chuck it out and start again……there would be no time for this.

So I bet you are dying to know what other shows and combos would work well together?

Renovation Rescue or The Block – Well you and Sawusband should stay right away from this one. You’d be screaming at him to hurry up because there’s a deadline and he is being too particular. He’d be yelling at you because you haven’t prepped properly and, “near enough is NOT good enough Lucy.”

Dancing With the Stars – Well only Gusband should do this one and he’s not a celebrity yet.

Bondi Resuce – It’s been a while since I did my Bronze Medallion but I will volunteer for this one. How hot are those Life Savers? Second thoughts, possibly not the greatest idea for the general public - Hot men in sluggos + me = potential disaster.

Any Singing Show – In all seriousness no one out of the 4 of us should ever sing in public. Gusband likes to give it a bash but only when he’s had about 4 bottles of wine. Never a good idea.

You can even tell from my fraggle-like expression how bad this sounds, not to mention my posture.

Backyard Blitz -  Now this is one we would have a shot at. We did this with our backyard and it still looks fabulous!

Bondi Vet – Not a fucking chance! There’d be too many tears and we would adopt everything that moved. There’s too much crying involved in that show as it is. Lucy I don’t think you are even allowed to watch it. The vet is super hot though.

Getaway – This show is perfect for us. The problem is they don’t send 4 presenters at once to one place.

Coming soon to a T.V near you, "Four Drunkards Travelling the World"

So my dear friend, we shall say no to every offer to be on a reality television show. (I mean of course, except for Australia’s Next Top Model but that goes without saying.)

Don’t air your dirty secrets on the tele. campers, keep them for your besties. xx

Weddings, Parties, Anything

Andrew – My baby brother got married on the weekend so Friday night Gusband and I farewelled the puppies, phoned the dog-sitter (also known as Poppy) ,packed ourselves into the car and headed to the nations capital.

We stayed at 2 hotels over the weekend because of our last minute decision to go Friday. Staying in a hotel you haven’t stayed in before can be a scary prospect, especially for Hotel Snobs (of which I am one). Our first hotel was fabulous with a capital F! Our room was massive, everything was brand new and perfectly clean and very central. As well as being cheap as chips. Our second hotel was labeled a “boutique hotel”. Well if boutique means tiny, poorly painted, containing a lift that doesn’t work and double the price of our first hotel then, yes it most certainly was boutique.

V. disappointing.

That being said, most of the other wedding guests stayed at the “Holiday Resort” where the reception was being held. Seriously, they are using the term "resort" exceptionally loosely at that place. It had that “old people and families have all stayed in these beds and we haven’t quite got rid of the smell,” smell. One guest even broke out in a rash after sleeping in the sheets.

Revolting.

Now that I think about it it’s not surprising that Gusband sent us the links to all the hotels we are staying at in Italy and London. Maybe he's scared we will negatively blog while away.

Until next time campers, stay safe and stay 5-star.

P.S – Wedding was fabulous, bride was beautiful, groom scrubbed up and we caught up with some wonderful people. Truly 5-star. xx

Lucy – So very exciting that your brother was Wed at the weekend. I’m glad the cars arrived without a hitch....Next time you have to attach a ribbon to a bonnet let me know, I can help, I was a wedding coordinator in one of my many past lives.

It appears I am at the age now where everyone I know is married....Has bred or in the process of breeding. Andrew, Gusband, Sawusband & I are a little slow off the mark when it comes to the breeding side of things....We are still dabbling with the trials & tribulations of Fur kids. What will happen at their 21^st b’day....it won’t be long until they are older than us!

My question is:

Who will look after us when we are old????

Fear not campers I have a plan. It’s a commune for all childless couples, where we drink wine, eat sumptuous meals & travel the world.....Hang on a minute, this sounds a lot like the life Andrew & Gusband lead!!!!so I  guess the only difference will be living in a commune.

Doesn’t sound too bad to me.

I would like to welcome Andrew’s brother & new sister in law to the married world. I am sure they are enjoying Newly Wedded Bliss!

Who will look after you when your old campers???

Computer Illiterate is an understatement!!

Lucy - So by now you all know I am not very computer savvy....
Well just when I thought all that was about to change, turns out I'm still technologically challenged.
I just got "the ducks nuts" in computers, yes you guessed it right, A Mac book Pro.
It is sleek & sexy, has a lot of bells & whistles (this is starting to sound a touch improper)
I thought this computer will just about run itself, I’ll just sit back & let it write the blog for today.....The only problem being, I can’t get the god damn thing connected to the internet.
Slight problem is an understatement...
So far it has involved approximately 7 long arduous calls to all manner of companies and still no luck.
Apparently I am not supposed to be on the internet......Hmmm, maybe this is the blog police trying to tell me something.....I’m feeling there must be a few complaints from the powers that be.

So now I am sitting here with two computers on to get one thing done (so very Lucy).

Andrew however is very savvy when it comes to computers.

I might need to sign up @ the Mac store for a few lessons.... A lady was in at work the other day after a lesson on how to use her new iphone. She said she had learnt so much about the camera options. There was one lady in course who's only question was whether her husband could GPS track her by her location via the phone.   The answer is NO (for those of you wondering). She promptly left, I guess that was all she needed to know. Too funny....

I swear that when technology sees me coming it runs in the opposite direction screaming!

But I will persevere campers.... I’ll be back... Hopefully with only one computer.

Food Glorious Food

Andrew – As Gusband and I begin to plan my Balinese birthday extravaganza, for the end of the year, and the catering, I’ve started to think about my favourite dining experiences. Mostly they seem to include Lucy and Sawusband and we have had an enormous amount of meals with them over the years.

Our Bible

I remember one Good Friday lunch when Gusband and Sawusband ended up in a hedge, yes they were intoxicated and yes it was hilarious. There have been several times when Lucy and I have tucked them into their respective beds and then met in the beer garden or pub down the road to continue drinking, smoking and talking shite.

There was the time when Sawusband thought he was ordering one particular bottle of wine and accidentally got the prices mixed up. When we had finished that bottle we all very happily said, “Oh just get the same again,” until Gusband realized that we were drinking $180 wine.

A hilarious menu from a restaurant in Bali

We have eaten in some fabulous places in Bali, which is where this post began, and Gusband has said we are going to be doing our own catering for the party. I find it strange to think that this party will happen without Lucy and Gusband in the kitchen together and Sawusband and I drinking Bintang by the pool. Oh well I’m sure I’ll be speaking to Lucy at leat 20 times on the day of the party and maybe we can connect Skype to the PRIVATE CINEMA THAT WE HAVE IN THE VILLA!

Party is on the 29^th November campers and I’d love for you all to come. xx

My Psychic Ways

Lucy – I visited a psychic medium yesterday. I’m not sure how you all feel about these things, but I love it for a bit of light hearted fun. I don’t take it too seriously. When I’m feeling a little lost (as I get) it helps me get back on track.

And now for the million dollar question, what did I think?

She was on the money!

She knew, I was a jack of all trades but master of none!!!!(I think we all know this. Now it's officially verified)

I must stick with the course I have started. If for nothing else, but to actually complete something for once in my life. SO TRUE...

That in this course I would have to do sketching (I only found that out the night before)

That I would be going on a trip overseas that would have me wandering down little streets....THAT'S SO ITALY

That sawusband likes the travelling involved with his job... & HE DOES

There was a lot more she told me that all rings true.

I feel better for going & that’s all that matters.

Get in touch with your inner psychic!!!

 

Happy Astral travelling everyone.

Andrew  - For me the jury’s still out on these things. I don’t NOT believe, I’m just not convinced either. I like things that I can prove. Like Tony Abbot is a bigotted c#*t or that tights are not pants.

I’m quite down with the idea actually and I’ve always thought of myself as a bit psychic. I can tell very early on in a night that at a certain point (after a certain number of drinks) when Lucy will start wanting a cigarette. I know as soon as I pick something black Gusband will announce he would rather white, I can also predict that if anyone say the 2 words “two dogs” Sawusband will say, “I know a joke about two dogs.”

In all seriousness I can pick pregnant people. It’s like I can smell it, which is revolting enough in itself. Gusband will attest to the fact that most times our female friends have been pregnant I’ve told him about it weeks before. Now I don’t believe in asking women about their pregnancy before they tell you (or you see it emerging from them) however I have been known to ask and predict. I asked one friend if she was pregnant and she admitted she was. She also admitted she only found out herself that morning and hadn’t yet told her husband. Go figure.

And so my friend I know you are sensible enough not to put the house on any of her predictions and I like that my best friend is open enough to new possibilities.

Now what’s that I smell campers? xx

Sawusband Busted!

Andrew – For as long as I can remember Lucy has always wanted chickens. I quite like the idea as well but we don’t have the room at our place.  Whenever the conversation would turn to the idea of getting poultry for their backyard, Sawusband would say, “you can’t have chickens in town.” Now I don’t know if Lucy ever challenged this idea however during the week I stumbled upon something very interesting.

This is taken from our councils website:

“Council recommends that the number of animals kept at a suburban property be limited to the following:

2 Dogs, 2 Cats, 15 Poultry - includes chickens, ducks, geese etc. Roosters are not recommended, 100 Pigeon - racing birds, 40 stock birds, 50 Small birds - includes budgies, canaries, quails finches, 2 Large birds - includes cockatoo and corella, 1 Pet rat, 10 Mice or guinea pigs, 1 Sheep or goat. Billy goats are not recommended.”

Are they serious? Can you imagine the smell if people decided to have all these animals in their suburban backyard all at once? The scariest thought I’ve had about this is that knowing Lucy she would probably embrace having this type of managerie.

So Sawusband, sorry to bust your big secret out of the water. I hope you don’t arrive home to a zoo. Don’t worry your other secret is safe with me - I won’t tell her that fairies aren’t real.

This is about all the zoo Gusband & I can handle.

Look after your zoos campers. xx

Lucy – All this talk of the animal kingdom made me think of the “Twelve Days of Christmas”
So here is                                      

The twelve days of my menagerie.

On the 1^st day in our backyard, Sawusband gave to me

A chicken in a pear tree.

On the 2^nd day in our backyard, Sawusband gave to me

Two cockatoos,

And A chicken in a pear tree.

On the 3^rd day in our backyard, Sawusband gave to me

Three Guinea pigs,

Two cockatoos,

And A chicken in a pear tree.

On the 4^th day in our backyard, Sawusband gave to me

 Four colly finches,

Three Guinea pigs,

Two cockatoos,

And A chicken in a pear tree.

I think you get the idea so let’s skip a few verses.....

On the 12^th day in our backyard, Sawusband gave to me

Twelve Sheep a leaping,

Eleven Pigeons racing,

Ten Canaries singing,

Nine Goats a bucking,

Eight Quails for eating,

Seven Mice a swimming,

Six Ducks a laying,

Four colly Finches,

Three Guinea pigs,

Two Cockatoos,

And A Chicken in a pear tree.

I do love me some animals......I might not need the rest but I would have liked chickens. The only problem now is, Henry, I think he would have liked them a little too much!!!

   

Henry seen here trying to eat Prime Possum

Possum survived & had glass of vino

 How many chickens do you have campers?Xxxx

Smug

Andrew – Don’t you just want to smack people in the mouth who sit (or stand for that matter)  with a smug look on their face? (This from the gay-boy who was trying to fight someoone at university and was held back by his much smaller but slightly older sister.)

It really makes my blood boil. It's like they've run out of things to say and suddenly this glazed look comes over them that essentially just makes them look like a dumb shit. 

I'm trying to find a positive note about smugness and the best I can come up with is  - budgie SMUGglers are hot.

Don’t be smug campers, it's not classy. Xx

Lucy - Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, there is no positive in being smug.

EXHIBIT A:

A. Budgie SMUGglers are definitely Not Hot... I just gave myself a Tony Abbott flashback, Thanks a lot it will take hours to free my mind of this vision...

B. You are right Smugness is not very becoming. (Just like budgie smugglers)

C. I'm thinking in a fight, I may have to step up; I weigh more than you & could possibly sit on our opponent to buy more time while you plan our escape!(FYI, this will not happen if they are wearing budgie smugglers, you're on your own)

Any way I think we have wasted more than enough time on silly smug people, plus the one you have encountered today is probably still standing there with a smug look on their face... Be careful, the wind might change & you'll be smug forever......or maybe that already happened.

Have an unsmug day campers, & Andrew have a cup of tea to settle your nerves....

Happy Valentine's Day

Andrew – So today is Valentine's Day, all together now awwwwww.

Gusband and I don’t really believe in it per se. We like that people were spending their cash in the bookshop this weekend buying a pressie for their loved one but we won’t be celebrating and I’d sure as shit better not be given a book.

This time last year Gusband and I decided we would go out for a nice dinner. We were in Bali for a month and were eating out most nights so it really wasn’t much of a stretch. I remember I was wearing a favourite red “Bali” shirt and fuck me if that wasn’t the world’s worst choice of clothing ever. Everywhere we looked at the restaurant were red things. Red bloody love hearts, red chocolates, red material draped from one end of the restaurant to the other there was even pink fucking sparkling!

Dodgy photo I know but this was the menu.

Too funny. Here were 2 gay boys perched up at their table having a Balinese degustation with every other loved up straight couple in Seminyak. Well the pink dollar is as good as the gold one so we drank up and had a fabulous time.

According to the Catholic website, Saint Valentine is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travelers and young people. Fuck he’s busy!

Wait until you hear how romantic  Lucy and Sawusband’s Valentines Day’s are…..

Lucy – Oh no Not Valentine's again... I thought you told me it was just another tradition invented by Hallmark & retail outlets / bookstores to cash in between Christmas & Easter....Who knew!

Anyhoo I can hardly remember my own Birthday let alone Valentine's F**King Day.

Sawusband & I are not known to be the most romantic of couples in the world, if you couldn’t already guess.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than being out with every new romantic couple on Valentine's night. The restaurants have to basically sit you on top of each other because they are losing money hand over fist having to turn possible tables of four into two’s. All night long couples looking into each other’s eyes waiting for the most romantic words they have ever heard to be (m)uttered to them.

So Andrew I thought I best do a bit of research as well and according to the Collins Dictionary: Valentine is a card or gift expressing love or affection, sent, often anonymously, to ones sweetheart or satirically to a friend, on Saint Valentine’s Day.

Andrew & Gusband are always quite romantic; they seem to celebrate in style all their many occasions. Gifts flow (they are always well thought out gifts as well) while Sawusband is very good with words, I can always expect a card with wonderful sentiments inside.

Every year I am lucky to remember my Wedding Anniversary let alone how many wonderful years I have been married....So My gift to you Sawusband is this, I just did the math & this anniversary we will be married 9 years.....(I had to look it up)But none the less when people ask me I should hopefully remember the answer.

I hope you all have a truly wonderful Valentine’s Day.Xxx