Shall I Kiss You Hello or Throw You on the Ground and Root You?

Andrew - Gusband and I are big kissers. Now I know this isn’t unusual for couples and we certainly don’t get carried away with public displays of affection but it did get me thinking…. What’s the kissing etiquette?

Mostly our female friends are kissers too. When we see each other generally we great each other with a kiss. Not unusual but stay with me on this. People do the kiss greeting differently. I think most people just put their cheek against the cheek of the person they are greeting and make the sound of a kiss. This seems to be the most accepted way of greeting someone and is pretty much germ free (unless of course they sneeze on the lean in.)

Mostly we shake hands with our straight mates I don’t know why, it is just the way it is.  Sawusband even calls us “mate” that’s how straight  he is (he’s also one of two people who will get away with using that instead of our names, but that’s another story.) In saying that we do have a few straighties who greet and part with a kiss. And oddly enough it’s not odd at all.

We were having dinner with some friends the other night and they were lamenting how everyone in their new town greets with kisses. Especially the gays.  Personally they are not down with the kiss greeting (immediately  I regretted kissing them on arrival) but feel there is no way out of it. It’s not like they are trying to be “straight acting”, Helen Keller would know which team we all bat for, I think it is a personality issue. Sorry boys, suck it up – well don't…. Oh you know what I mean. JoJo also admitted she wasn’t really down with the kiss greeting either but she is a self-admitted grumpy Scot so maybe it’s a nature vs nurture situation…..I digress.

If this is how you are being greeted, you may have a problem 

 Gusband is a double cheek kisser but that’s because he thinks he’s European. I don’t think I’ve ever put cheek on cheek with The Divine Miss F because she moves so bloody fast, she’s like a whirlwind. We also have friends who are lip kissers. I know a lot of people are not fans of the lips kiss as a greeting, strangely given my distaste of all things germ related, it doesn’t really worry me. If they try and slip the tongue in I’m not very comfortable but that happens very rarely.

I think you just get to know how your friends like to be greeted and go with it. You can always wait and follow their lead but this can be fraught with danger as you both stand uncomfortably looking at each other.

While I’m at it can someone please teach all little kids to kiss with their mouths closed? I’m not a nipple and I’m not great with slobber so please shut your gobs.

Personally I’m not great with hugging. It always feels like someone always hugs for too long but that’s for another time.

Have you been slipping the tongue campers? xx

Lucy - I'm sure the last time I met someone I just threw myself on the floor....
Oh No, It was a kiss on the cheek actually.
Which cheek I hear you say!!! Oh you're sooo rude... not that cheek!

I was thinking about the etiquette side of things & I'm unsure.... I quite like a kiss on the cheek I suppose. But I am with you on the waiting too long to move in & then the whole thing goes pear shaped & ends up uncomfortable....That's always a problem.

And about that picture Andrew. If I was being greeted by two men kissing each other in the shower, I would have a problem....It would be....What about me!!! Where are all the straight men & why is no one kissing me like that? Lucky Sawusband is a great kisser.

I am totally with Gusband on this subject. I want to be European, so therefore I will be attempting the double kiss from now on.

Hugs can be weird, but I'm a fan of them. I love a hug if it's not with someone creepy...(funny that!)
It's a shame there are so many creepy peeps out there..

Happy Kissing Campers..