Fatty Fat Fat

People have been known to call me a fattist. I’m not sure it’s even a word for all those people who have but it’s not entirely untrue.

Now don’t get me wrong, it isn’t as though I think fatty’s should be rounded up and put into camps or anything, Christ I’m not the noughties version on Hitler. It’s just that fat people are well… fat.

My biggest gripe with the fatty-fats of the world is travel. No one wants to be sitting next to the obese person do they? It’s like being seated next to the crazy traveller. "Please, please, please don’t let me be sitting next to them," you can see people mumbling as they climb on board a plane. Fair call I say. If your muffin top hangs over the arm rest you should have to buy an extra seat . No one wants to spend an entire flight in fear of being sucked into a fat roll, never to be seen again.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again here, why is it that airlines have weight restrictions on luggage? Is it really fair that I can only take 25kgs onto a flight but so can Jabba the Hutt checking in, in front of me? That means that me and my luggage together would weigh around 90kgs, there are a lot of fatty-fats out there who by themselves weigh that much… AND they can take the same amount of luggage.

And as for flying with Rex, if your bag is too heavy they tell you it may have to go standby. Well what about lard-arse over there? Why should my suitcase be left behind when they're just being waved right through. Oh that’s right there are laws against discrimination. So to break it down, the gays can’t marry but the fatties can fly. Interesting.

Now before you start on me I know there are many different reasons for people being obese and some of them are medical. I’m not a complete arsehole so this is what I propose. If you are fat because you have a dodgy thyroid or you have two broken legs and can’t exercise or you caught your boyfriend making out with your best friend and have confined yourself to your bedroom watching Will and Grace reruns, I hereby give you permission to come fly with me. I might even give you my complimentary salty nuts. I’ll even help you write your sign (because you can’t get your tray table down)… what’s that? Oh did I forget to tell you that you have to wear a sign that explains why you are so fat? Soz.

So see, all won’t be lost for those larger travellers amongst us when I become Prime Minister. It’s not about discriminating AGAINST fat people, it’s about equality for the slimmer folk. And possibly it’s got something to do with all the purchases Gusband has made this trip and me wondering how the bloody hell we are going to get them home.



Lucy - We all know you're a fattist.
But really this Blog screams  "Excess Luggage Payment!!!!" Just tell Gusband to tighten his belt....Actually I have a better idea, you should don a fat suit then you can stuff all Gusbands purchases in it, therefore eliminating the excess luggage payment. 


I have only had one very unpleasant flight where the people on either side of me were so large that the armrests were bending back on me, pinning me in! 

I knew then I needed Vodka Stat! It was a cheap 3 hour flight & did not include alcohol so when the flight attendant asked me for payment I couldn't get to my bag! She saw how stuck I was & said she would get it later. I think she took pity on me & never collected.


I think that if you need the belt extender then maybe you need to buy a second seat so that you and the peeps around you are comfortable.

Anywho, I am sure the backlash about this blog will go on & on & on! I hope your skin is thick, the so called fatties might sit on you. 


Happy Travels Campers Xx