We're Back... and it's not pretty

Warning! Snobby, pretentious and potential character assassinating post today. If you have a reasonably decent opinion of me please discontinue reading. If you already know I’m a snobby bastard, please see below.

Andrew – I know I am a very lucky middle aged man for so many reasons. Not the least of which is that Gusband is an exceptional travel agent and we get to do quite a bit of travel. So even though we were in Italy less than 7 weeks ago, I write this blog poolside in a sarong with a gin and tonic at my side.

Before I get too far ahead of myself I need you to know/remember how I came to be such a travel snob in the first place.

When Gusband was wooing me he pulled out all the stops. When we travelled we flew first class - business at the very least -and stayed in some AMAZING places. He took me around the world to see wonderous sights and somehow managed to convince me that this was how the regular person travelled. He introduced me to Bali and showed me that villas with private pools were the only way to go. If God had made us share a pool with fat people he would have made us poor.

Once he nabbed me he let me in on a little secret… we are poor…. That’s why God invented industry rates. And frequent flyer points!

And God invented Qantas Club

So now I feel it is my duty to talk about the economy. Not that economy, THE ECONOMY. The one that comes behind business class. Since we are having 2 trips to Bali this year, Gusband in his wisdom felt we should spread our love (and frequent flyer points) around and book 2 economy trips rather than 1 business class one. Not even premium economy! I of course, not wanting to sound like a spoiled child, say the appropriate things like, “I’m just grateful we are going away I don’t care how we get there.” Yeah right, I don’t even think Gusband buys this drivel after 10 years together. But seriously how bad could it be?

I remember flying economy to Bali with Lucy and Sawusband once and we somehow found ourselves sitting in very close vicinity to a child who screamed from Sydney to Denpasar and behind a man who passed wind like a mother f#*ker. I marched to where L & S were sitting and very loudly told them that I would “never be flying economy again!” To which I received looks from our fellow travelers that could have cut glass.

So this trip as we turned right instead of left as we boarded the plane I shuddered a little and then stiffened my shoulders and told myself to stop being such a brat.

A lot of people have different opinions of Bali but if we could fly the kids back and forth we would move here at the drop of a hat. The weather is fabulous, the people are beautiful and the food is to die for. Not literally.

Real estate options... seriously

Unfortunately it’s also the place bogans come. It’s cheap and there are definitely some seedy elements to it, should you go looking for them. A bit like home really. And how does the bogan travel I hear you ask? Jetstar economy.

And so it was that we found ourselves sardined with our fellow bogans. Our fellow bogans, who also decided that their kids were welcome. Not like the children we are used to ie. The refined child who knows how to behave… nope the bogan child who screams like it’s being murdered (note to self: stop entertaining the thought.)

So with alcohol not included, entertainment not included I settled (very loosely do I use the word) down with my book in front of the cool guy in front of me with shaved letters in his head and the fat lady who overhung in the aisle. And if your book wasn’t enough to keep you enthralled for 6 hours you could always watch the show of the bogan drinking his duty free and then swearing at the air hostess when she took it off him.

The Divine Miss Floss would never allow this.

Dinner on Jetstar

and this is the kind photo

As a side note is it just me who thinks that 60 is too old to be sporting dreadlocks?

So to recap… I’m a snob, it’s Gusband’s fault, children who aren’t full of mogadon will scream and there will always be bogans.

So when Gusband said to me mid-flight, “Premium economy on the way  home?” Of course I said, “Oh I don’t mind, I’m just grateful with whatever, I don’t care how we get there.”

Safe travels campers. xx




Lucy - I think we all will rejoice in the fact that you finally know what all us E flyers go through.....& my trip was a lot longer than six hours.....in E class, By myself. 
Actually I had resigned myself to the fact that it could be very bad & was ready for anything when the fairies smiled down on me & granted a relatively bogan free experience. 


Thank goodness you have 10 days to recuperate before you must board another flight, but fear not you will at least be turning left not right.


I definitely will be having all kinds of nightmares about that haircut....Bogan central!!

Xx