Anniversaries To The End

Andrew – I know that too many posts in one day can be irritating but I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish Lucy and Sawusband a very happy and romantic wedding anniversary. Wow 9 years team. Massive congratulations from Gusband & I.

Sawusband, thanks for letting me be Lucy’s “other husband” it sounds much nicer than calling her my beard or fag-hag.

To show you how well you have done here is a few couples who didn’t make it:

•                Pamela Anderson married to Kid Rock for six months.

•                Drew Barrymore’s second marriage, to comedian Tom Green, lasted a little over a year

•                Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley: Married for less than four months.

•                Jim Carrey and Lauren Holly: Married for ten months.

•                Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe: Marriage lasted roughly nine months.

•                Shannen Doherty and Ashley Hamilton: Their marriage ended in divorce after less than six months.

•                Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman: Ten days after a marriage in Las Vegas divorce plans began.

•                Eva Longoria and Tyler Christopher: Married for two years before divorce.

•                Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett: Married for 21 months. He is a fucking weirdo!

•                Britney Spears and Jason Allen Alexander: Married in Las Vegas, marriage annulled soon after (56 hours)

However all is not for the celebs…..

Angela Lansbury and Peter Shaw were married from 1949 to his death in 2003.

So you pair have done better than Britney but not as good as Angela Lansbury (who played a teapot in my favourite Disney movie.)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY FRIENDS. I love youse. Xxx

Lucy - Thank you for the well wishes Andrew. You could be classed as a little late though, our anniversary was in August...... Not to worry there will be plenty more to celebrate.... Next year is the big 10!!! Holy Crap.... (Love you Sawusband)

Your anniversary was only a few weeks ago & it looks like you have surpassed all those celebs as well.

I Hope everyone has enjoyed the blog over the past few months, it was fun to write about our trip to Italy. 
I think Andrew will keep everyone up to date from now on. Lord knows he has plenty to say to keep you all enthralled. 

Happy Blogging Andrew Xxxx

Thanks again Campers

Lucy

May We All Sleep Easy Tonight

Andrew – 10 years ago one of the most unimaginable things occurred.

Everyone knows where they were when the twin towers fell and most us feel a heavy weight on our hearts as we sit, ponder and watch as the media remind us of those who are no longer with us.

10 years ago I was at Gusband’s place that he was renting, he had cooked me dinner and he (unexpectedly) asked me to move in with him. You don’t need to know what happened next however we were woken by our friend and editor telling us to turn on the tele.

The world will never be the same again.

10 years later I, like most of the world am taking a moment to remember those who lost their lives on September 11 and all those people who have lost their loved ones. May they rest in peace.

I am also taking a moment to say a silent prayer (who knows who to) to say thank you for all the wonderful things in my life.

One day soon I’ll do a list of the top 10 things I am thankful for but today I, like all of you, are asking the universe to make sure that all those effected by 9/11 are resting easy.

Very thankful for this pair.

Rest easy campers. xx

Who's a Sook!

Andrew – I am a sook and everyone knows it. I will cry at the drop of a hat and television shows bring me undone on a regular basis. Gusband can often be found rolling his eyes at me and handing me a tissue. So is it because I wear my heart on my sleeve or am I just a big fat cry baby? Perhaps it’s a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B.

So what’s brought me undone on the box? Here’s just a few and believe me this is just the tip of the iceburg.

·      The news. Lately the Morcombe case has had me on the verge of tears on a regular basis;

·      Chris Bath on Sunday night presented a story about soldiers and their views on being in Afghanistan. Big strong men crying turns me into a blubbery mess;

·      Remember when Molly died on A Country Practice? The nation bawled but as a wee lad I was inconsolable;

·      There was a greeting card commercial on the television a few years ago. An old lady would go everyday to her mailbox and she would never receive anything. A neighbour saw this and wrote her a card and put it in her mailbox which made the elderly lady very happy. Christ on crutches I could start crying again just thinking about the happy look on her face;

·      There was an episode of Melrose Place where the gay character Matt, was fostering a child and eventually had to give her up. When they were saying goodbye at the airport I lost the plot completely! How pathetic;

Don’t even go there with the movies Beaches or Stepmom. It’s always embarrassing leaving the cinema with puffy eyes. Perhaps this is why I always carry tissues. I thought it was a habit I got into while teaching, I hate snot and if a child had green gunk pouring from their nose I would hand them a tissue and tell them to clean themselves up. Really, it’s in case I come across something that will send me into floods of tears.

So I guess you could say I’m living on the edge. I cry when I’m happy and cry when I’m sad. I wonder if it has anything to do with my consumption of Hendricks Gin? Nah that couldn’t be it.

What brings you undone campers?


Lucy - Now we all know why the TV isn't on very often at your place, there is not enough tissues in the OC to handle the flood. 

I am sure that it is not all Gin & tears at Castello Edwardo, although no one can fault you for crying over Beaches and that greeting card commercial. 


You are a sook & it's ok, 
better out than in I say,
the Gin is flowing
and the tears are growing
Gusbands knowing
....
I have lost my train of thought as Sawusbands contribution is:
There once was a man from Nantucket.  
Thanks Sawusband now i'll never finish it.


I should have been a poet, a bad poet.

You are a sook & it's ok,  better out than in I say.

Happy crying, campers!

The Humble TV Chef

Lucy - I used to love great cooking shows years ago. Now there are so many it’s hard to keep up. Sawusband just read me a review about my most frustrating TV Chef. I have been known to yell a few choice words at the television when he appears. Here are a few quotes from the mag to help you guess who it is:

“With braces stretched to breaking point against his ample shirtfront” 

or 

“He dishes up fuss free meals and Dad jokes.” 

Yes it’s Huey, he is so hard for me to tolerate. Sawusband has been known yell from the other room “just change the channel, why do you persist in watching this, it makes you crazy!” The answer is until recently Huey’s show was on before the Bold & the Beautiful (you can write comments about me watching that show later. I think Andrew is nearly convinced it’s not such a bad show as the cast walks around semi naked most days).

I think we can all agree that it is a good sign they have moved this program far far away from The Bold & the Beautiful and therefore me.

Another TV chef who I idolized until his head grew bigger than the Masterchef doors is George Columbaris. It is so sad to see what TV can do to some peoples heads. 

I remember the good old days when he was on Ready Steady Cook, so humble back then. It’s just sad now, his acting is atrocious…..

Why not sell out like Darren did with KFC.

All I can say is thank god for Maeve, 

she still has one of the great cooking shows in Food Safari 

and who can forget Rick Stein, he is fantastic.

I love myself a quality cooking show. 

What's for dinner Sawusband? I'd help cook but another cooking show is on!

Who's cooking in your kitchen tonight, campers ?


Andrew- I'll bloody well tell you who cooked in our house last night. Me! Gusband fell asleep on the lounge so it was up to me to splatter oil all over the floor and set off the smoke detectors. These things never happen when Gusband is in the kitchen, maybe he's watched more cooking shows than me or maybe he cares..... because......


I FUCKING HATE COOKING! I hate the whole experience and I FUCKING HATE COOKING SHOWS. Lucy I know that you love them, so does Gusband but I would rather  get a book and climb into the bath.


Gusband was even made to watch Masterchef in another room until the final weeks when Kate was looking good to win. I'm not down with reality television (he says as he is typing this in front of the X-Factor.)

2 Masterchefs

Yep, I'm getting in on the act

So, you all can have your cooking shows and I will support your interest in them because the meals you all make are amazing. I shall lovingly be standing in the wings making the cocktails and pouring the wine. Go forth and watch. 


I'm not actually convinced that Darren sold out with the whole KFC disaster. If we all criticise the fast food chains for serving unhealthy food, shouldn't we embrace someone who puts their celebrity behind attempting to change this? I'll have an opinion until he does a cooking show.


Lucy, I know you watch the Bold and the Beautiful for the storylines...

Yep definitely the storylines

Does Your Bush Need a Trim?

Andrew – I sometimes wonder why we start things. And being the peeps who start things and then go “Ok that’s enough can we call in the experts now?” This last weekend was a big surprise fro Gusband & I.

Unfortunately we had a very unsightly bush. I know! The gays gererally have their man-scaping under control but this was a bush that was out of control. The council even intervened…. “Fix it or remove it.”

Google shot of our house before council intervened

And so it was that 2 years ago we pruned our neglected hedge hoping that it would come back in the Spring. Well it did but not in the way we hoped. It grew like a muppet in that it grew out the top but didn’t fill or grow from the bottom.

Imagine the orange was green and that was our hedge

So it was a sad day on Sunday when Gusband and I went out early and started taking out the hedge. We sawed and chopped and then the Tree Man turned up. He wrapped his winch around our newly pruned trunks and yanked them so hard they just flew out of the ground.

Apparently some of you have gone somewhere completely filthy in your heads. I wouldn’t bother if I was you. It was very butch at Castello Edwardo  that day however with C-Bear and I wandering with a Benson & Hedges in our mouth it seemed more GLAM than sexy.

Sans Hedge

The Hedge is gone and Gusband and I are busy planning the new garden. We are going mnimalist, ie. We shall plan something that looks fab but requires minimal work.

Have we given our front yard the equivalent of a brazilian? I think so. We are man-scapers 
from way back. 

Man-scaping

WE ALSO BUILT A FENCE! YAY US!!!!

The fence the gays built

Lucy - Andrew, only you  could make Bush trimming dirty!

We have gone for a hedge of spikes instead of a bush here on the GC. It has proven to be a well planned out presence in our front yard. 

Just the other night we had the displeasure of some peeps jumping the front fence when Sawusband chanced upon them with a few choice words  they jumped back over only to be spiked by the razor blade trees. I love my spiky trees. Beware peeps....enter at own risk...If the trees won't get you, crazy Henry will!

I am so very proud of the fact you were able to erect a fence. That is indeed a great improvement to add other erecting qualities to your repertoire.

Happy manscaping campers!

Stop Reading Shit!

Andrew – I heard an author once say that there are so many books in the world that if you are not enjoying the one you are reading, put it down and get another one. 

Monica McInerney the author who told me what's what

I never used to be able to do it, now I do it all the time. I have started so many books over the years that not so long ago, my bedside table looked like a literary graveyard.

(A few days ago I put all of my half read/not read books into a separate section of our library. Wasn’t that hard really and going to bed now in an uncluttered space, must be good for my feng shui.)

Gusband's side of the bed

My newly culled bedside table

The problem (and I use that term very loosely as I know it’s a problem lots of people would like) is that in my line of work publishers are always sending advanced copies of titles they want us to read. I take the ones I think I’ll one day get to but more often they simply join the growing pile next to my bed. It doesn’t help that I read everything. By that I mean I don’t have a particular genre that I stick to. I love crime, I like to think I like reading literary titles, coming up to Christmas I even read “chick lit” or as it's now called "light fiction" and young adult books. I do this under the guise of being able to suitably advise you on a Christmas gift. The truth is I also enjoy them.

When Gusband and I spent a month in Bali I had to pack a bag for just books, for several reasons. For starters I do very little in Bali but read and more importantly when you finish a book, you never really know what genre of book you will feel like next. Hence the suitcase full of options.

I have just finished a book that I really didn’t enjoy so I thought I needed to read something completely trashy. As I headed for the bath with my copy of “Unmasked: Erotic Stories of Gay Superheroes” I thought for sure I had found something suitable trashy to get me through the bath at least. Guess again and I really should have known from the title! There is nothing more infuriating than being stranded in the bath with a bad book – a bad book that is neither “erotic” or “stories” really.

So I’m almost finished Alan Hollinghurst’s “The Stranger’s Child” I love, love, love it! Don’t even get me started on “The Street Sweeper” by Elliot Perlman, it is fabulous and due to be released in October.

If this sounds like shameless self promotion, then you may be right. I just get so excited at this time of year. Ahhh Christmas new releases! You’ve gotta love them.

What are you reading campers?


Lucy - So in order to stop reading shit I guess I'll have  to start reading something more than trashy mags, which are probably classed as shit with pictures.
The last books I was truly engrossed in & it pains me to say it (especially to Andrew, bookworm extraordinaire)Yes Campers it was the TWILIGHT SERIES!!!! oh the pain of a person my age loving it, but I confess I did.
Which leads me to the fact that now I have a little bit of Rob Pats twilight life in my life. My sister has decided that I apparently love him & continually buys me Rob Pats shit! a DVD about him, the Twilight board game..... A Twilight calendar.....the list goes on & my face is getting redder by the second in embarrassment. In order to defend myself I wish you all to know that I have not played the board game or watched the DVD.

Twilight Board Game, Sad But True!

The books I do love are my cookbooks, Sawusband & I have a cookbook collection which rivals Gusbands (if that is possible), he is the queen of cookbooks but I think a lot of that has to do with his husband owning a quality bookstore. 

Most of our collection.

I must admit that since we moved away from the OC I have had trouble finding a quality bookstore that stock a great range. We did have a Borders store which has closed down now, they had a great range, but the best store I know is Boomers Bookshop in the OC. I liked it because it has rolled the ABC shop with everything else. Now It sounds like I'm promoting Andrew....Sad....but what can I do... it's true.....


Anywho I'm off to buy a trashy mag....oh, I mean a novel of substance.


Happy reading, Campers.

Who's Got The Travel Bug?

Andrew – Oh dear I’ve just gotten off the phone with Lucy and I think you will agree that when someone answers the phone with, “You do NOT want to fucking know,” they are not having the best of days.

We had spoken earlier and I had ascertained that Lucy, Sawusband & crew were stranded in the big smoke. She’d rung Gusband for advice. He’s a handy man to have at the end of the phone.

I'm guessing this isn't todays faces

I’ll let Lucy tell the story however while she is (hopefully) in the sky on her way home, it made me think about the times we’ve been stranded somewhere at the mercy of an airline.

Most recently was our little jaunt in Bali. On the day of departure I received a text message from Pacific Blue telling me that our flight, that was supposed to be leaving at 10pm that night, would now be leaving at 8am the next morning. Me… I went and bought more grog because I mean seriously what are you going to do? Complain about having to stay another night in Seminyak?

Sooo tired, yes that trolley is only filled with alcohol

Poor Gusband, he hit the phones to confirm the delay and then try and find some accommodation for the night. (Note to self: ALWAYS PACK YOUR TRAVEL AGENT.) Clearly no drama, we stayed, we drank and when we went to the airport we were somewhere between drunk and hungover.

Another time I remember being stranded was the time we were travelling from Los Angeles to Sydney and due to some delay we would be staying where we were, for the next little while. 

Next little while my fucking arse! 

“Would you like a drink sir? We might be here a while.”

“Well yes I will, thanks very much.” *Repeat that for 4 hours.

Very drunk at takeoff I can tell you.

Then there was the time we were delayed for so long I was heard to say, “Oh God, I couldn’t drink any more Krug…” Pretentious much?

I thought that was it but Gusband has just reminded me about the time we were going from London to Kuala Lumpur and sat on the tarmac for 5 hours. I tell you what, that was 5 hours of the best sleep I’ve ever had. If I was on twitter I’d say #flatbedmuch.

I was held up at customs in Canada once but that was too terrifying for words so I can’t even think about it. Another post another time.

So, I am crossing my fingers that my friend is FINALLY on her way home (again). I hope Lucy has had a lovely time away because nothing ruins a min-break like a delayed day of travel. C-Bear? Thoughts?

P.S – As a quick little aside…. If you aren’t able to take your travel agent with you or don't have your bestie at the end of the phone (who is a travel agent) and if YOU ARE TRAVELLING AND YOU HAVEN’T BOOKED THROUGH A TRAVEL AGENT...... YOU ARE AN DICKHEAD!

Travel safely campers. xx Lucy where are you????


Lucy - I'MTOOSICKTOTYPE!I'MTOOSICKTOTYPE!I'MTOOSICKTOOTYPE!I'MTOOSICKTOOTYPE!I'MTOOSICKTOOTYPE - but I am home safely xx

Things That Make Us Go Awwwww

Andrew - I just put clean sheets on the bed and now I’m so excited I want to go to bed however it’s only 4pm so that’s probably a bit foolish. It got me thinking about all those things that make us go awwwww.

Coming home. As much as I love to travel, I don’t think there’s a better feeling than when you look out the window and see Sydney harbour come into view. I always get butterflies and I don’t even live there! Which is nothing compared to the feeling I get driving into Orange knowing that in a few short minutes we’ll be seeing the bubbas.

Follow that up with a shower in our own shower will all our own products and life really is bliss. There’s just something about your own shower that makes you go awwww.

I remember when Oscar first let Phoebe lick him on the face, talk about an awwww moment. For ages Oscar would growl when puppy Phoebe would come anywhere near him. I think he thought we weren’t watching and she had obviously worn him down with her gorgeousness. Billy was the same, just more tolerant of Phoebes.

Poor patient Billy

I saw a kitten lick hot Dr Chris on his vet show one night and both Gusband and I went awwww. We could totally have that cat and we hate cats with a passion. Doesn’t help that I’m allergic. I would totally let Dr Chris lick my face.

Just so you know that it’s not just about animals with me, I always go awwww when I hear babies giggle too. Weird I know. Not that babies giggling is weird. It makes me think I should head off and procreate. Then they poo or vomit or both at the same time. Crisis of wanting a baby over, panic not Gusband.

Check out Gusband and P-Mac acting the clown to make the A-Man laugh.

I also love going to the wardrobe on a Monday morning after the ironing lady has brought our shirts back. Bliss and a whole lot of shallow, I know.

What makes you go awwww campers?


Lucy - Things that make me go Awwwww. We must be on the same page today, I too have fresh sheets on the bed, there is nothing better than that first sleep on fresh yummy sheets.


There are a few that spring to mind immediately, like baby dog Henry as a puppy.

Awwww

Or greeting me when I get home. That actually doesn't happen all that often, most of the time he is fast asleep, lucky to even hear me open the door. If he does happen to wake up he normally lifts up his head, looks, then promptly lays back down & starts snoring. So on the odd occasion that he bothers to get up, I feel special & think Awwwww

wake up & greet me....

When I get home from work, Sawusband has made me dinner and the smell hits me when I open the door I think Awwwww, actually I mean Mmmmmm. 

I just purchased a new handbag, Australian design & handmade by Deadly Ponies. I got it online & when the postman dropped it off today I was as excited as a kid in a candy store. As I opened the bag & saw the blue I went Awwwww.

I also love the smell of fresh rain on the ground after a dry spell or rain on a freshly mowed lawn, maybe that makes say Ahhhhh 

or seeing a helium balloon floating so high in the sky without a care, only to have that peace shattered  by a screaming child who accidentally let it go.

There are so many Awww moments, Andrew i'm glad you made me think of a few today.
& you two definitely need that ironing lady if your wardrobe has that many shirts....


Andrew - P.S. They were only Gusband's shirts.

Get Rid Of Shit Day !

 Lucy - Get Rid Of Shit Day, also known as Council Pick up Day.
Every so often our council organises a Council Pick Up Day, where all the crap you don't want hanging around the house can be placed near the gutter & they will take it away. Fantastic I hear you say, no trips to the tip.

All you hoarders on the GC, get ready !!!!

This is not my living room

That is going take some extra trips to the tip.

I have a few things that were too good to put on the side of the road so I called the Salvos to collect them. This ended up in me having some items that even the Salvos did not want.
I had a cat scratching post which Ishka (the cat) turned her nose up at, she prefers to sharpen her claws on the rug. The Salvos also turned their noses up at the $80 scratching post, obviously following Ishkas lead.

Ok this is a bit more elaborate than the one snubbed by Ishka & the Salvos.

The alternative was to place it on the side of the road, so I did.
The next day Mummy Penny rang & asked, "Is that cat post still outside your house? I think I just saw being carried up the  street". I popped my head over the fence and sure enough It was gone.
People never cease to amaze me. We are still a few days away until pick up starts, it will be this weekend when we see cars with trailers strapped to the back pulling up outside homes taking what they want off the piles of crap. They are indeed scavengers who I am sure will be putting all the crap they collect on the net!
Look out Ebay you're about to be inundated with more shit for sale....

I wonder if Ishka's scratching post will show up.

Andrew - Oh, I do love myself a "Get Rid of Shit Day."

I remember the day not long ago when Gusband and I had a garage sale. It was also the day C-Bear was hired to work it and then sacked when someone tried to haggle with her over prices, "I'll give you $5," said the punter "No $2," responded our master of finances. Ummm C-Bear, you're now on the coffee run.

At the end of the day Gusband & I decided that we would just put all of our leftover crap on the footpath as council cleanup was due any day. Well it turns out one man's trash really is another man's treasure. Or at least that's what it looked like as we skulked around peering out the windows as car after car pulled up and rifled through our leftover junk. How old can you be to still mutter, "scab" under your breath.

Now I know that last comment may have sounded judgemental but I'm not (well I am) the real reason I have a problem with other peoples stuff is germs. Yes I am a germaphobe of sorts. I touch a bin and wash my hands, I am a little bit obsessed with Glen 20 and I have antibacterial in the car, yet I live with inside dogs.... go figure.

Also, Gusband and I recycle like mofos, so we appreciate the idea of taking someones stuff off the footpath instead of it ending up as landfill. It's just germs, that and the fact that I like new stuff. In saying that, Sawusband has been known to give me clothes that he's either decided he didn't like but bought anyway or doesn't fit into anymore (because obviously Lucy shrunk them.) I'm ok with that because I know I can wash them and the age old joke where I send Lucy a text saying, "I just got into your husband's pants," never gets old.

So people on the GC, I say go forth and scavange, you never know what you might find. Espescially at (.                                                        .) - address removed by Lucy

Road Trip Part 2

Andrew - Not everyone has the chance to take a trip down memory lane like I did several days ago when Gusband and I went with AO to visit JoJo, in the place I was born. Yes, my peeps I was born in Tamworth. So judge me not on my love of Garth Brooks and the Dixie Chicks but rather on my collection of rather camp few pairs of boots, that quite often get outed.

Yep, I was born here!

The Church I was Christened in and NO the roof didn't fall in

When Gusband and I awoke from our hungover sleep we discovered we were going to be late for the appointed time we said we would catch up with my grandparents. Never the less they were still waiting for us when we arrived. Thank God.

It’s always fantastic to catch up with family that you haven’t seen for a long time and if you add your gorgeous sister and her beautiful children then you have an afternoon you will remember for ages.

As well as catching up with the oldies, my sis & the nephews I also got to see an Uncle, a cousin and the birth mother of another cousin I’ve never met and no one bothered to tell me who this random lady was. I’m very glad to have met her now and will make people wear name tags and family tree badges on my next visit.

Lucy, have you had any interesting family experiences lately?


Lucy - You are such a tease Andrew. Fancy not showing us your array of cowboy boots (I'm sure there must be some hot pink or bright blue pairs). 

these are fancy!

It got me thinking (no jokes!!) what makes a gay cowboy(boot)? So I consulted google & this is what showed up.

Love me some Chaps, so does the guy in the overalls. 

Actually they made a brief (ha-ha) comeback in fashion a few months ago

(the overalls people, not the chaps)

I love a good float

lets not forget boot scooting @ christmas time

or the Naked Cowboy! He looks surprisingly warm in that snow.

Now, what was the story I am meant to blogging about.....that's right, road trips & family get togethers.

I'm glad you went down memory lane Andrew, it looked like a lot of fun. 

The only photo I could find at short notice was one of me I think aged 3 or 4. But you all will have to wait, the computer was just not playing the game today.  I think it's all googled out after the cowboy antics.....

Happy Boot Scooting Campers.